No, there are not 99 bottles of beer on my wall, I don't have enough shelf space for that many. I use the reference because I only have 99 days left before I board a plane to return to the US. Only 99 days until my Fulbright fellowship officially ends and I return to normal US civilian life. My time in Germany has been reduced from 340 days to double digits that are slowly approaching zero.
I approach this date much as I expected I would, with trepidation and excitement. My family anxiously awaits my return and I anxiously await to see my family, but at the same time I don't want the adventure to end. As difficult as this time abroad has been, I have learned something new everyday. Part of me feels at home here but I long to be reunited with my those with whom I will make me home. Germany is not my true home and probably never will be, but I still long to stay. An awkward conundrum I now face: to look forward towards my last days in Germany while also looking forward to my home country. I am nervous about how my home country will accept me and how I will accept it.
I feel very comfortable in my American culture but then I think about my life here and think "this fits too". How to deal with this conundrum? I just keep living each day to the fullest. Nuture the friendships I have made thus far and encourage new ones.
Remember that even after I leave, a friend is just an instant message away.
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2 comments:
dont double digits feel crazy? yikes. i've got 85 left.
I have 99 pizza boxes on my floor.
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